FEAR

Yesterday and Thursday were my firsts days back to school. Yes, thats right, I am going to school over summer. And after two days in class, I went into meltdown mode. Our instructor is strict and a little on the loud side, but seems fair. And most importantly, he makes good nurses.

He gave us a lot of perspective on the changes that WILL occur in nursing school. Our relationships with family and friends will change because we won't have the time we used to. The relationships we have with pretty much everything will change (the dog, the gym, church, etc). He said he cannot make us give up anything. But there are only so many "extras" you can have while doing a nursing program and there will be a lot of times we have to choose between something and nursing school. And this is an accelerated nursing program so that number of "extras" got cut in half. What should take me three years to do (all my general education and nursing courses), I am doing in two. So, of course I am going to be busy. I signed up for that. But realizing it is actually happening now, is somewhat frightening.

He also told us that FEAR has two defintions:
1. Face Everything And Relax
2. F--- Everything And Run

Obviously, he would prefer we choose the first. I can be a good nurse. I WILL be a good nurse. But the process to get there is going to be rough and I hope the relationships that mean the most to me will withstand that.