Hiccups

So today I went back to my GI doctor. There is NO physical reason why I should be hiccuping this much. My hitial hernia is small and sliding so it wouldn't be causing hiccups. My acid reflux is considered "silent" meaning so mild I hardly suffer from the normal side effects. The doc said we could go crazy on testing but neither he nor I thought that was a good idea. I have already had blood work, urine test, chest X-ray, endoscopy and a chest CT. I am kind of done with test.

However, I still have hiccups.

His best dx was stress. (go figure right??) We figure out that I have them mostly at school and they are worse when I have a test or quiz. So he has started me on a high blood pressure medication that works as a calcium blocker so it should reduce or eliminate my hiccups. The only side effect is lowering of my already low blood pressure. I usually run about 98/64 (normal is 120/80). I have taken my first pill and will check in about 20 minutes to see if it drops it too low. If that happens, or it doesn't work, then I will go off this medication. My next step will be going back to my PCM and talk about anti-anxiety medications. I know I have anxiety tendencies and do have anxiety attacks on occassion (usually when school becomes overwhelming).

I really did NOT want to have to take a pill to get rid of these. I may seem strange, but I would rather have a surgery/procedure and be out for a week and never have to think up my hiccups again than take a pill forever... but if it is all stress-related, then maybe after school is over I won't be as stressed. Heres to hoping!

Changes

So I feel like everything keeps changing. I'm not complaining (ok, maybe a little), but I am a creature of habit. I like consistency. Actually, I love consistency. However, lately NOTHING has stayed the same.

I have recently moved in with my Grandparents, which for the most part is great. I don't worry about rent, utlities, or food (although I have gained 4 pounds for Grandma's cooking), but it can be a challenge to go from living on your own to living with family. My nursing book calls people like me Boomerange Children. Shoot out on your own then shoot back to your family house.

School... well, school is school. It is hard. It is definately manageable, but it is difficult. A lot of reading, which just takes time management and motivation. And my motivation, is the above. Being able to be indepedent. To be able to support myself comfortable and to not be a finicial burden on family and maybe help them out.

Did I mention hicccccuuuups? Well, I had an endoscopy about a week ago and then a CT scan of chest two days ago. I was really nervous about the endoscopy because I wasn't sure how much I would be able to feel. They do sedate you, but they don't knock you out. They put you in a twlight zone. However, it was fine. Other than a sore throat for a day or two after and a vague memory of hitting on my doctor, it was fine. The endoscopy revealed that I have a hitial hernia and acid reflux disease. The CT was to rule out anything else that could cause over a year of chronic hiccups. The CT was normal. So I go in on Wed to dicuss treatment options. I really hope it doesn't include taking a pill everyday because that just seems like such a hassal so we will see.

Eh, those are the "what's new" in my life. I am sure there will be more changes to come and I will keep you posted as they occur.

FEAR

Yesterday and Thursday were my firsts days back to school. Yes, thats right, I am going to school over summer. And after two days in class, I went into meltdown mode. Our instructor is strict and a little on the loud side, but seems fair. And most importantly, he makes good nurses.

He gave us a lot of perspective on the changes that WILL occur in nursing school. Our relationships with family and friends will change because we won't have the time we used to. The relationships we have with pretty much everything will change (the dog, the gym, church, etc). He said he cannot make us give up anything. But there are only so many "extras" you can have while doing a nursing program and there will be a lot of times we have to choose between something and nursing school. And this is an accelerated nursing program so that number of "extras" got cut in half. What should take me three years to do (all my general education and nursing courses), I am doing in two. So, of course I am going to be busy. I signed up for that. But realizing it is actually happening now, is somewhat frightening.

He also told us that FEAR has two defintions:
1. Face Everything And Relax
2. F--- Everything And Run

Obviously, he would prefer we choose the first. I can be a good nurse. I WILL be a good nurse. But the process to get there is going to be rough and I hope the relationships that mean the most to me will withstand that.

Moving.... AGAIN

1. House is Vista, CA to Dorms at SDCC
2. While I was still at SDCC, my mom and step dad moved to Oceanside, so I had to move the rest of my stuff the new house.
3. Dorms at SDCC to Oceanside
4. Oceanside back and forth all summer to IHC.
5. Oceanside to house in El Cajon, CA
6. El Cajon, CA to Breese, IL
7. Breese, IL to Carlyle, IL
8. Carlyle, IL to Grandparent's house in Vista, CA.
9. Grandparent's house to another house in Vista, CA.
10. Rented house in Vista, CA BACK to Grandparent's house.

This is from August 2007 until May 2010. Thats 10 moves in 32 months! That averages 1 move every 3.2 months. RIDICULOUS!

At least I will be staying with in my Grandparent's house until I finish school (about a year a half) which will be my most permanent housing since I graduated from High School.

And then, of course, if I join the navy, I may have to move a couple more times LOL